So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
