What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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