I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
