Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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