i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
