The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
