Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
