but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
