Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
