did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
