that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
