How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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