it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
