Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
