So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
