fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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