i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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