I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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