I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
