I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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