I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
