They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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