So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
