She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
