Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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