my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
