Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
