I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
