it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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