I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
