Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
