both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
