tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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