you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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