they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
