Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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