Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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