my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
