This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
