It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The uberlube is also flammable
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
