i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
