i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
