Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
