I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
