Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
