Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
