I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
