Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
