There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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