I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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